Wednesday, July 5
in my head
Tell me something.
What do you want? Not what you want for your birthday or Christmas, just what do want for yourself. Be selfish for once or maybe twice. Happiness? Happiness filled with what? Woo, I'm rich, I'm happy? What happiness? I often ask myself, "What do you want right now, Marina?"
Sleep. Strange that I asked for sleep. Why? Simply because so what? If I want sleep, I'll just have to lie down, stare into the darkness and I'll get sleep, somehow. But later on, a few hours later, I'll be awake then what? What does sleep do to me? I don't really feel that much better, do you? Sleep doesn't take away the burdens, does it?
When I wake up every morning, besides hearing my mum asking me if I have school, everything seems like a blur. Not because I don't have my glasses on but because I keep thinking, "So, was that just a dream?" That refers to my life. My legs finally come to its senses and lead me to the bathroom and let myself take a shower. Once that first drop of water hit my bareskin, everything came back. Rushing through like the people in the morning at Jurong East MRT Station. Everyone rushes to board the train; just like how every bit of reality rushes back into my brain.
Now, that's when I start to take my very own sweet time to get ready for school. Why should I rush? So what if I'm going to be late? It's gonna be a bad day, anyway. Don't rush the bad day. Take your time. I remember, and will always remember, what
Rico said to me,
"Just think that everyday will be a bad day. In that way, if things turn out good, it's a bonus for you but it's bad then you won't be so disappointed because you've already expected it to be a bad day. "
