Saturday, April 29
oh no she didn't
Hehe. I saw
Benny at city link just now when I was on my way to meet Hafiz (MJ) at city hall mrt station. Haha..
Anyways, Aurora and I went shopping for banner cloth and fabric paints. We bought a yellow coloured cloth because it's bright and outstanding. =D
I really don't have much to say actually.
Goodnight world.
Saturday, April 22
people are such ______ creatures
I
don't like my mother and don't tell me that I should like my mother because you don't know
my mother. I don't even know where to begin to list the things that she did. She never tried to get to know me. How can she when she wasn't around when I grew up. Wasn't around as in because right after was born and was out of the hospital, she sent me to a babysitter. Most of my days are with my babysitter whom I called her
"Mak" (mother in malay) too. For
11 years, I was with her. She took care of me as a baby and everything. Those were my happy days.
But then, I grew up. I no longer need to be babysat and there was my mother. Since then, my life became bad and it got from bad to worst and now, horrible. She has never supported me in anyways. She has never sincerely complimented me. She will, without effort, put me down and make me feel so dumb and hurt. She never respect me as a person and I cannot return any respect because I did gave her respect before but it was such a waste.
Because of her, I ran away from home when I was still studying in secondary school and how dare she blamed my friend for my run away. How dare she. My mother, father and I went then sent to a
family counselling. It doesn't help. Like I said, I'm the living proof or rather, my mother is the living proof that counselling doesn't help much. I said much because my father did change his ways. My mother makes me want to pull my hairs and explode my head every
fuckingday.
....
and
you, if you don't already know, I do read what you wrote eventhough it's not for me, I have something to say about it because I was in that position before.
No one can truly say why. even the person herself/himself can't exactly put into words why. That's why people should not ask such questions because you might do that one day and it might be too late to tell the person that you understand how she/he feels. So wait for yourself to be in he/her shoes before questioning because whether you care how she/he feels,
people do get offended.
...
It's not that hard to understand, you idiot.
Wednesday, April 19
there she is
"marina...", she said.
her smile made me, me.
Monday, April 17
they all laughed at me
"
There she is...", I thought to myself.
I can't walk in a stable manner. My legs were shaking.
Stop shaking, Marina. Just breathe.
She's different or maybe I'm the different one. No, things have changed. So much, too much have changed over the past year. I never thought that the most difficult task today was to actually, hold a piece of paper. It seems heavy. My hand felt weak. It's my bowling hand,
mind you and it's not suppose to be weak.
"
... will be fine ya..", I read to myself.
Relieved. Sad. Disappoint. Calm. Confused. Unsure. I have no idea what I was feeling at that moment. Feelings rushed into me. None of them wanna give way to each other. All wanted to go in and make me feel them. Leave me alone, I thought. I don't wanna feel anything. Numbness seems so appealing now.
"
I don't think it will go back to how you guys were before," Nadhirah said to me.
Stab me. Stab me. Stab me. Stab me. Stab me Stab me. Stab me. Stab me. I chanted.
Friday, April 7
tag no. 214
I'm back!! I'm back!! I'm back!! I'm back!! I'm back!! I'm back!! I'm back!! I'm back!! I'm back!! I'm back!! I'm back!! I'm back!! I'm back!! I'm back!! I'm back!! I'm back!! I'm back!! I'm back!! I'm back!! I'm back!! I'm back!! I'm back!! I'm back!! I'm back!! I'm back!! I'm back!! I'm back!! I'm back!! I'm back!! I'm back!! I'm back!! I'm back!! I'm back!! I'm back!! I'm back!! I'm back!! I'm back!! I'm back!! I'm back!! I'm back!! I'm back!! I'm back!! I'm back!! I'm back!! I'm back!! I'm back!! I'm back!! I'm back!! I'm back!! I'm back!! I'm back!! I'm back!! I'm back!! I'm back!! I'm back!! I'm back!! I'm back!! I'm back!! I'm back!! I'm back!! I'm back!! I'm back!! I'm back!! I'm back!! I'm back!! I'm back!! I'm back!! I'm back!! I'm back!! I'm back!! I'm back!! I'm back!!
Pictures soon.
