Wednesday, March 29
i'm not that strong without you
I sent my laptop to the
"hospital" on Monday. They couldn't give me date as to when I can collect it back but I hope it will be before this Saturday. Speaking of this Saturday, I'm going off to
Malaysia this Saturday till I'm not sure when actually. I think if not earlier, I'll be back by 6th April.
Meanwhile, I'm using this really old computer that my dad put in my room. Haha.
Thanks Dad. It's not meant to be used actually but I guess he knows that I cannot live without the internet so he set it up for me.
Yes, my daddy loves me. Haha. Everyone should say "aww". Anyways, so there are lots of my family holiday pictures in this computer and I found the pictures I took when we were in
Sarawak last year. I remember I took those gorgeous sunset pictures. I showed them to
Geraldine yesterday because I know she loves sceneries and I thought that she might like the sunset phtoos. So anyhow, I sent a few over to her.
Thanks to
Yue Yun for putting Marcos Hernandez's The Way I do on her myspace because the song is stuck in my head like as if someone used those uhu glue. It's nice =D
I sent the song to Fir,
Tee(who is back from Melbourne, by the way and going back there again next week for a week!), Jun Wei, Rizal and Geraldine.
I'm gonna edit this entry with some stuff I drew.
Saturday, March 25
so vividly, i remember
news, news, news
my lover (laptop) died.
i'm using the family computer now.
i wrote this for her just now.
i'm not good at it but oh well.
finish left column first then right column.
if you're gonna read it.
if you can't it read it clearly, click the
unresized version.
Friday, March 24
after 'h'
That pretty much sums up how I feel.
Saturday, March 18
She doesn't have a clue that I like her.
I really suck at talking to her.
I think she thinks I'm boring.
and...
I think she already have eyes on someone else.
how are things
I met
Izz today!! She is so pretty.
Really pretty. Anyways, we met at Cineleisure and we gave each other flowers. I gave her a sunflower because she loves yellow and she gave me a daisy. As you know I love daisies, so I was really happy to get one. Anyways, we went down to get out Final Destination 3 tickets but the last show was at 10.50am. WTH! So we decided to watch
Dorm instead. It was very disappointing. It wasn't what we expected it to be.
We to had lunch at
Friends Cafe and went window shopping. I made quite a few mental notes on what to get on my next shopping spree. I can't wait. God, I love clothes.
Izz made a collage of the pictures we took.
and well, I got bored so..
I'm in
love with that polka dot tube dress.
Monday, March 13
i've never been so sorry
At one point of my life, I apologised to someone but I didn't tell her why. I couldn't. I don't want to imagine the thoughts that might be running through her mind when I tell her why.
"It's not what you think.." - Would she believe me when I say that? I don't know. Because.. a part of me feels like a total stranger when I'm around her.
I'm sorry.
(note: the rubbish i'm talking about is just a nick i gave to someone..not literally rubbish.)
I wasn't there half of your life in RP. I was too busy with rubbish which is making me the rubbish now. But, if I found the guts to tell you this, I hope that you believe me when I say that I always thought of you when I'm with rubbish. I'm not lying. I'll never lie when it comes to you. I talked to rubbish about you. I told rubbish how much I wanted to approach you and apologise but I couldn't so I waited till now and realise that it might be too late for an apology.
I'm sorry.I want to make up to you. I tell myself that I will make it up to you. I wanna make up all those months, days, hours, minutes and seconds that I was gone, that I hould have been there for you. But I got stuck. I don't know how. I don't know where to start. I really don't. Sometimes, I'll just looked at you and hoping that just by looking, everything will be okay (that sounded stupid). I make up reasons/questions/stories just to talk to you and hear your voice in return (that sounded even more stupid).
I'm sorry. Sometimes, I feel angry at you. Why didn't you stop me for going after rubbish? Why didn't you argue with me when I was with rubbish? Why didn't you slap me for not being there? Why didn't you wake me up? But I guess I wasn't worth the trouble. I miss you, $^&%#%$*@. You defended me when needed. You made me laugh. You laughed at my jokes when no one did. You made me happy. You wrote letters to me. You never made me felt alone. You listened to me. You talked to me. Trust me, the list can go on and on and on. No one can compare to you. No one. But rubbish made me leave you. But I really didn't. You were still (may sound stupid but) in my heart and mind. I thought of you a lot. I really, honestly did.
I'm sorry. Till today, I'm so proud to know someone like you. I'm so happy to tell people that, "Oh.. I know her!". I wanna make up to you. I really do. But I can't tell you that this is about you. I just can't. I'm not saying this because rubbish left me but because it seems like the right time. My mind is in the right place for once.
I'm so sorry.
I've been a jerk. A great big jerk. The biggest jerk alive, really. You have all the right to call me a jerk too. Or whatever you like. But I'm really sorry. I really am sorry. Even if I have to count the hairs on your head or count the grass in the whole of Singapore, just to make things better between us, I will because I really am sorry.
and I love you.
Tuesday, March 7
fear is the enemy
It's all about us, it's all about
all about us
There's a thing that they can't touch
'Cause ya know
It's all about us, it's all about
All about us, all about us
We'll run away if we must
'Cause ya know
It's all about us, it's all about love
In you I can trust, it's all about us
- "All About Us" - T.A.T.U
Saturday, March 4
i wish everything will be fine
"All she sees is hurt and pain,
She wants to break the chain,
She'll keep pressing every day,
And she'll find her own sweet way."
- "Let Love Lead The Way," Spice Girls
I think things are getting better. A part of me is jumping for joy but another part of me is kind of scared. Will I go back to what I was these past few months? Will it still haunt me? I put those thoughts away and concentrate on the things/people that are making me happy now. I need to throw my past away. I really need to.
Anyways, there was a Dance Nite in school yesterday night. Geraldine was nice enough to get the coupons for me and Isha. Thanks Dine :) Isha, Eunice, Dan and I went to Queensway shopping centre before the Dance Nite. It was so much fun but tiring. Isha was born to be a shoe-seller. LOL! Met Arif (-.-) and Bronson there too.
you’ll always keep me
flying high in the sky of love
Wednesday, March 1
that girl
When I first smiled and said hi to her,
I know that I've got to know her.
Oh and by the way, Happy 1st March.
